Mon, Jan 14 | Crank & Boom Ice Cream Lounge

Conversations that Matter Community Discussion

At our next Conversations that Matter Community Discussion, we welcome Jessica Bollinger, LCSW. Jess is an LCSW, who has been a certified Imago Relationship therapist for 20 yrs. She will discuss relationship building & how we can use relational competence to heal our wounds and make us whole again.
Registration is Closed
Conversations that Matter Community Discussion

Time & Location

Jan 14, 2019, 7:00 PM – 8:30 PM
Crank & Boom Ice Cream Lounge, 1210 Manchester St, Lexington, KY 40504, USA

About The Event

At our next Conversations that Matter Community Discussion, we welcome our friend, Jessica Bollinger, LCSW.

Jess is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, who has been a certified Imago Relationship therapist for 20 years.

She will discuss relationship building and how we can use relational competence to heal our wounds and make us whole again.

An essay from Jessica Bollinger, LCSW:

Imago is a relational theory that helps couples discover why they chose each other, and why they trigger each other. We were wounded in relationship, and we can be healed in relationship.

Jess will discuss how relationship building through the Imago

Good relationship can help heal the world. If we are raised in good relationship, we can feel fully alive, and live in the present. It is from early wounding and adapting to that wounding in unconscious ways that we end up numbing ourselves, and avoiding relationship. There are many different means to do so, alcohol, drugs, and closing ourselves off to relationships.

The founder of Imago, Harville Hendrix as he has aged, (he is in his 80’s now) became very sad that this work was done only inside an office one couple at a time. And most couples do not seek help! His vision was to enable a healthier more connected world.

He and his wife, Helen are from Dallas Texas.

They began a new trajectory to reach more people, to reach a larger audience, to reach whole communities and whole cities. It is used now with organizations, with police, with schools, etc.

They call it Safe Conversations. They began this in Dallas.

What is Safe Conversations?

is a structured process that helps people talk without criticizing, listen without judging and connect beyond their differences. Structure helps internalize the process so that all conversations become safe. It’s not so much what people say to each other, but how they say it that evokes polarization, conflict and all forms of violence. If we change the structure of conversations, we shift from conflict to connecting. Safety is non-negotiable for human thriving. With safety comes connecting, full aliveness and wonder—the core features of our nature.

Introduction

Talking is the most dangerous thing most people do, and listening the most infrequent. Interacting through language—words, gestures and tone—is where life happens for all of us all the time. We call it communication, and we cannot NOT communicate, because that is our nature. The quality of our conversations determines the quality of our relationships and the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives—in all ecosystems. And most of our conversations evoke anxiety, defenses and conflict.

YET, we have little instruction in the art of conversation, in how to have a conversation that is connecting rather than polarizing. We have many resources available for conflict resolutions, negotiation and problem solving. But the cultural institutions that teach us how to survive and thrive in our culture—classrooms and congregations—do not teach us how to listen to other people when they are talking and to talk in such a way that other people will listen.

THIS IS A MAJOR VACUUM IN OUR CULTURE WHICH WE THINK IS THE SOURCE OF MOST OF OUR HUMAN PROBLEMS AND FILLING THAT VACUUM WITH RELATIONAL COMPETENCE IS THE SOLUTION.

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